Review by Maloth Slagger

Game Title: Super Crate Box

Platform: PC

Price: Free

System Requirements: LOW

Link: http://www.supercratebox.com/

I have a gun. I can shoot and jump. What's this? enemies slowly pouring down from the top of the 2d side view old-school platformer? Kill them all! yay, I'm good at killing things. What's this, BIGGER enemies...oh man, my gun takes FOREVER to kill it. I think I see a crate, lets pick it up and see what in it....A BIG FUCKING GUN! YAY! KILL KILL KILL. (70 bodies later), damn, this game is easy. Well, lets die and see what my amazing score is....WHAT? This isn't golf right? I want a HIGH score? I got a 1. Yes, a freaking 1.

After reviewing some information, it looks like you get no points for killing things. That's actually refreshing for a video game. You get a point for every crate you pick up. And every time you pick up a crate, you get a new weapon.

On my second go around, I had a lot of fun picking up weapons and flaying enemies, until I accidentally killed myself with the disc gun. Apparently discretion is occasionally important. Also, I tried to just ignore enemies, but I only had 1 hit point and if an enemy reaches the bottom of the screen it reappears at the top of the screen...and turns red and gets really fast and mean and kills me quick. 7 points this time around, yay!

So the game is hard, but I like that. I would have only played a few rounds, but it kept me playing for hours, because every time you break your old record you unlock new content. New levels, guns and characters. If you just need to lose yourself for an hour or so, this is a great game, and at no cost to your pocketbook, there's really nothing to lose.

The bad part is of course the graphics, as can be expected with indy games. Everything is pixilated and old school sprite based.

The good part is that it take everything you know about 2d shooters and drops it on its head. All my reflexes killed me. If you jump on an enemy, you die. If you follow an enemy through the fire at the bottom, you die, but it doesn't. If you ignore enemies to get your goals, the game gets a lot harder. If you ignore your goals to kill enemies, your score sucks.

Is it fun? yes. Should you play it? yes. Will you become obsessed with it? unlikely. Can you pick it up and leave it whenever you want, not having to wait to the next save point? yes. It's just a casual game that I casually enjoy and I hope you do to.